Shijin Anthonipilla

Over the last few years, the trend has shown that most women in Kerala do not want to commit to marriage, which has led to either the delay or rejection of marriage. Often, the reason seems to be that marriage curtails the freedom and personal aspirations of young women. Is marriage a necessary part of life?

The state with the highest literacy rate in India is Kerala, particularly when it comes to female literacy. This education introduces them to global knowledge and culture. And this high literacy rate and greater educational opportunities have led women to aspire to greater career opportunities and higher self-esteem. Therefore, the girls’ priorities underwent a shift, with their focus moving from marriage to career and self-worth, giving them economic independence and freeing them from the traditional dependence on husbands or families.

The young women are of the opinion that entering into matrimony would result in a return to traditional gender roles, which would restrict them to domestic life and force them to sacrifice their careers and aspirations. Often, marriage is not seen as an equal partnership, but as an unequal union that fulfils different roles in life. Therefore, the roles of domestic responsibilities, childcare and accommodating extended family would hinder their careers and personal dreams. This compels young women to delay or reject marriage.

Different views on relationships and companionship outside of marriage have led to a change in perspective on marriage itself. Especially in modern-day Kerala, people are looking for companionship and considers the idea of marriage as a mere public contract that makes no sense. And they think that what needed in a relationship is happiness, personal space and self-respect. If marriage cannot guarantee such a life, it is better to avoid it.

In the present day, young people are more focused on studying, working and settling down abroad, which has led to a more diverse perspective on marriage than in the past. Coming into contact with different cultures and acquiring diverse knowledge about marriage can lead to the adoption of ideas that are pleasing to them, causing them to forget the value of tradition.

Although attitudes towards marriage have changed, parents and relatives still encourage their children to marry at young age, fearing that they will end up alone. This can result in a clash between traditional values and modern aspirations for those who are pressured into it. but however, some young women succeeded in pushing back their marriage or escaping from the marriage.

Social media also plays an important role in changing people’s understanding of marriage. The ideas expressed by different people on social media, and what pleases them, become mantras for viewers without them having a proper understanding or knowledge of the subject. Movements on gender equality and personal freedom have also diverted young women’s minds from getting married, especially as defective ideas spread through social media can be misleading.

In a profound understanding, we would realize that women in Kerala delay or reject marriage not because they are uninterested in commitment, relationships or family life, but rather they are claiming their right to acceptance, equality, respect and freedom. therefore, it invites us to a progressive thinking of mutual respect, freedom and equality.